*Please note in this post female pronouns are used, however, please note that not all vulva owners are female-identified*

So pay attention folks - here are 10 tips that will have you both wanting to celebrate this scrumptious day...over and over again!

1. R-e-s-p-e-c-t The Pussy.

First and foremost before even heading south - make her AND her vulva feel sexy. The stigma around vulvas can cause a lot of people to feel self-conscious about their bits and even hold negative opinions on the way they look, feel, smell, and/or taste.

You can help ease her mind by giving her a compliment and/or showing her why her pussy is so amazing. Make her feel like you cannot WAIT to just dive right in and that there is NOTHING wrong with her or her vulva!

 2. Slow Down.

Regardless of what you may have learned from porn, this is not a race! Start slow and build up the anticipation. That doesn’t mean do everything at a snail pace - we encourage you to rapidly move that tongue back and forth! But don’t assume 5 minutes of quick lapping is going to do the trick.

Not only is the warm-up important, but for some people, it’s necessary. Things can be super sensitive down there and many people need other sorts of stimulation before even going down. Try kissing down her body, gently nibbling at her thighs, etc. to get things going.

3. Look, Listen, and Feel.

Her body! Listen to the sounds she’s making and/or directions she’s giving you, and feel how her body reacts to what you do. If something is working, don’t stop! If she’s squirming a little too much, maybe it’s time to switch something up. 

4. Forget What Worked With Your Last Partner.

As every person and every vulva is different. Unlike penises, there’s no universal motion guaranteed to get it off. What feels good and pleasurable for one person, might not be for another. Take your time getting to know what works and what doesn’t, and don’t forget about communication! 

5. Tongue Technique!

Friends, the “alphabet” advice you were given is way out the window - haven’t we moved on from such blasé tongue techniques? The “alphabet trick” consisted of writing out each letter of the alphabet with your tongue on the vulva. It was helpful because it got you to try new patterns with your tongue without really thinking about it - I mean everyone knows the alphabet right?

But get creative instead! There are so many different ways you can use your tongue, just switch it up until you find something that works best for her, then go go GO with it! To get you started with some ideas, try; a pointy tongue, a flat tongue, swirls, laps, flickers, fast, slow, up & down, left to right, circles and circles OH MY.

6. Spoil the Clitoris But Don’t Forget About the Rest of the Vulva.

Let’s go over the vulva, shall we?

While the clitoris IS super important (because of its crazy amount of nerve endings), it shouldn’t be the only thing you focus on - and maybe not right away. Being packed with that many nerves also makes the clitoris sensitive - and this sensitivity is different for every woman and every vulva. Sometimes spending too much time on the clitoris or heading to it right away can actually end up being painful or uncomfortable for some.

Try exploring the other parts of the vulva too as they are just as important and pleasurable! Both labias (outer & inner) can be licked, sucked, even nibbled if consented to. You could also try putting some pressure on the perineum (either with tongue or fingers) as this is another area full of nerve endings!

7. Don’t Let the Name “Oral” Fool You.

You don’t have to just use your mouth - try using the other parts of your face too like the nose, chin, and lips!

You can also kick the pleasure up a notch by adding some fingers or a vibrator - either to use simultaneously on the vulva or in the vagina, or to stimulate other erogenous zones like the nipples.

8. We’ve Said it Before and We’ll Say It Again...LUBE!

If you didn’t already know all the magic that is lubricant - you can catch up real quick here. But one of the amazing things that lube can do is to make things more sensual. Not like in a romantic way, but in a you-feel-everything-WAY-more kind of way. With lube, every little lick, lap, and suck will be intensified.

A flavoured lube (which is actually designed for oral sex) provides all the benefits of regular lube, but tastes YUMMY and can help you to last a little bit longer down there too.

A warming or cooling lubricant adds a fun sensational effect that can be tingly, warming, buzzing, etc. but ultimately more stimulating (you can feel it on your tongue too!)

9. Skip The Missionary & Explore New Muff-Diving Positions.

While there’s nothing wrong with a classic, try some of these ones!

Facesitting. While you are lying down face up, have her kneel or sit over your mouth, but keeping the pressure off of your head. This gives her some control over the movement and pressure as well as frees up both of your hands for anything else.

Doggie style. Have her on all fours facing away from you while you either stand or kneel behind her. It makes things a little easier if she is lifted up (like on a Liberator), and you can get a level below her (try kneeling on the ground).

Standing up. Against a wall, door, etc., have her standing (either forward or against the wall) and kneel on the ground underneath her.

10. Performing Oral Sex Doesn’t Always Result in Orgasm...and that’s O.K.

Some people can’t and some won’t orgasm from oral sex - but that does NOT mean that; it isn’t pleasurable for her, she’s not into you, or that she doesn’t like it. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen!

Instead of focusing on “orgasm” as the end goal, focus on the intimate process of pleasuring her - and whether it happens or not, wasn’t it still fun for both of you?