Oral Play 101

What Is Oral Play?

Oral play involves the act of using your mouth to pleasure a partner on their genitals. It is a very universal activity and can be considered foreplay or sex for different kinds of couples.

Oral sex may also sometimes be referred to as; “going down” “blowjob” “eating out” etc. However, the proper terms are actually fellatio and cunnilingus. Fellatio is when oral sex is performed on a penis, and cunnilingus when performed on a vulva.

Oral play is for ALL people and can be enhanced with things such as toys, lubes, and stimulants! Knowing the proper anatomy will help you to hit all the right spots and ultimately listening and watching to how your partner reacts, will be able to guide you AND your mouth.

A cartoon of two tongues going on a trip south.


Performing oral sex doesn’t always result in orgasm, and that’s okay! Some people can’t and some won’t orgasm from oral sex - but that does NOT mean that; it isn’t pleasurable, they’re not into you, or that they don’t like it. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen! Instead of focusing on “orgasm” as the end goal, focus on the intimate process of pleasuring your partner - and whether it happens or not, wasn’t it still a good time for the both of you?

The Vulva

The female genitalia in its entirety is called the Vulva. The Vagina actually only refers to the inside canal. The clitoris is a hot spot for many vulva owners as it is jam-packed with THOUSANDS of nerve endings. While the clitoris is super important, it shouldn’t be the only focus - and maybe not right away. Being packed with that many nerves also makes the clitoris sensitive - and this sensitivity is different for every vulva. Sometimes spending too much time on the clitoris or heading to it right away can actually end up being uncomfortable for some.

Go slow with your licks and laps and try exploring the other parts of the vulva too as they are just as important and pleasurable! Both labias (outer & inner) can be licked, sucked, even nibbled if consented to.

Not sure what to do with your tongue? Play around with different motions, directions, and speeds. Try: a pointy tongue, flat tongue, circles, left-to-right, up-and-down, slow, fast, hard, soft, laps, flickers, OH MY!

Anatomy Lesson:

Click or tap on the label below to see where it's located in human anatomy!

Clitoral Hood



Vaginal Opening

Labia Minora

Labia Majora

Vital Vulva Tips:

  1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T The Pussy. First and foremost before even going down - make your partner AND their vulva feel sexy. The stigma around vulvas can cause a lot of vulva owners to feel self-conscious about their bits and even hold negative opinions on the way they look, feel, smell, and taste. You can help ease their mind by making them feel like you cannot WAIT to just dive right in and that there is NOTHING wrong with their pussy.
  2. Slow Down. Start slow and build up the anticipation. Not only is the warm-up important, but for some, it’s necessary. Things can be super sensitive down there and many folks need other sorts of stimulation before even going down.
  3. Forget What Worked With Your Last Partner. Because every vulva is different and there’s no universal motion guaranteed to get it off, what feels good and pleasurable for onew , might not be for another. Take your time getting to know what works and what doesn’t, and don’t forget about communication!

The Penis

Similar to the clitoris, the head of the penis (called the Glans) carries the majority of the penis’ nerve endings, making it a lot more sensitive than the rest of it. In fact, it is from the same embryonic cells in utero that form to become either a clitoris or the Glans.

Surrounding the Glans is the “Helmet” also called the Corona. Directly under the Corona, on the underside of the penis is an area called the Frenulum, which is another little bundle of nerve endings that should definitely be paid attention to; try licking, sucking, or even tapping it with your tongue!

In between the testicles and the anus is a little patch of skin called the Perineum (sometimes referred to as “the taint”) which is also incredibly sensitive as underneath it lies the root of the penis. Pressure is best to use on the perineum to ensure that the root of the penis is actually being stimulated.

A diagram of a circumsized penis showing the location of the glans, corona, fenulum, penile raphe, and the scrotal raphe.

Let's Talk Foreskin

Many penises don’t have it due to religious and cultural reasons, but it is making a comeback! If you’ve never been with a penis that had foreskin, here’s some info: It will naturally pull back to expose the tip of the penis when erect. If a penis still has the foreskin, in addition to the Glans, the foreskin also carries a lot of nerve endings – making it super sensitive!

A diagram of a circumsized penis showing the location of the glans, corona, fenulum, penile raphe, and the scrotal raphe.
A yellow icon of an exclamation mark.

Don't Forget

Sometimes anyone can benefit from when performing or receiving oral sex, regardless of what you got!

Things To Consider:

  • Lube:

    One of the most amazing things that lube can do is to make things more sensual. Not like in a romantic way, but in a you-feel-everything-WAY-more kind of way. With lube, every little lick, lap, and suck will be intensified and felt even more.

    A flavoured lubricant (which is actually meant for oral sex) provides all the benefits of regular lube, but tastes YUMMY and can enhance the oral experience for both of you.

    A warming or cooling lubricant adds a fun sensational effect that can be tingly, warming, buzzing, etc. but ultimately more stimulating (and you can feel it on your tongue too!). Try blowing on the body part covered in cooling lube for an icy and cooling sensation!

  • Toys!

    Don’t let the name “oral” fool you; you don’t have to just use your mouth! Try using other parts of your face like nose and lips, or other body parts like breasts and hands. Toys like tongue vibrators, finger vibrators, and strokers can help to enhance the pleasure to any oral play.

  • Accessories!

    There are some accessories out there that were created specifically to enhance the experience of oral sex! Arousal oils, desensitizing throat sprays, throat-coating creams, and liquids that make you salivate more are just some of the accessories on the market for oral sex.


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