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Exploring Your Gender in Sex: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Have you ever thought about exploring your gender identity or expression through your sex?

Exploring your gender in the context of sex can be a deeply fulfilling and affirming experience, whether you're doing it alone or with a partner. However, solo play allows you to experiment without any external pressure, giving you the freedom to fully immerse yourself in your body and creativity. This self-exploration can build confidence and a deeper understanding of your own desires and boundaries, which you can then bring into any partnered experiences.

Here are some ways you can begin to dive into your gender identity during sex.

Adding Body Parts

One powerful way to explore your gender during sex is by adding body parts that feel right to you. This can be achieved through the use of strap-ons, dildos, vulva inserts, chest plates, etc. These tools allow you to embody the physical aspects of your gender identity in a safe and personal way.

Focus on stimulating these added parts in ways that feel pleasurable and affirming too! For example, have a partner perform oral on your dildo/wearable vulva, or use other sex toys to stimulate them - such as nipple toys on a chest plate or a vibrator on anything!

Although you may not be able to *feel* these things necessarily, the perspective of doing them or having them done to you can be incredibly affirming - and hot!

Removing or Concealing Body Parts

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On the flip side, you might find that removing the sight of certain body parts helps you feel more comfortable and aligned with your gender. Experiment with different methods of concealing to see what feels best for you.

Binding your chest, tucking, or wearing certain clothing items, like underwear, can help you focus less on parts of your body that feel dysphoric. This can be particularly empowering during sex, allowing you to be more present in the moment.

Positions: Who is Literally on Top?

Changing sexual positions is another way to explore gender dynamics. The act of being on top or bottom can hold significant meaning, depending on how you relate to your gender. For some, being on top might evoke a sense of dominance and control that aligns with their gender identity, while for others, being on the bottom might feel better.

Experiment with various positions to see which ones resonate with you. You might discover that certain positions make you feel more powerful, more submissive, or simply more comfortable in your body.

Switching Up the Giving & Receiving of Sex

Another dimension to consider is switching up the roles of giving and receiving during sex. This can involve penetration, oral sex (even if not on the bio genitals like we just talked about), fingering, and other types of sexual activities. If you typically assume one role, try reversing it to see how it feels!

For instance, if you usually penetrate with a penis, consider being penetrated by a dildo, or if you usually receive a couple of fingers in the booty, put yours in someone else’s peach.🍑 This role reversal can provide new perspectives and deepen your understanding of yourself; it can also enhance intimacy and communication with your partner!

Wearing Affirming Outfits or Lingerie

Clothing can be a powerful tool in affirming your gender identity. Whether it’s a lacy piece of lingerie that makes you feel feminine or a more androgynous outfit that feels just right, explore different outfits or lingerie that make you feel good & boost your confidence!

Pro Tip: Leave it on during your solo or partnered sex - if it feels good and makes you more sexually confident as well, let it do its thing!

Gendered Dirty Talk

Finally, consider how language plays a role during sex. Dirty talk can be a powerful way to reinforce any gender. Experiment with gendered words & terms like "mommy," "daddy," "good girl," "bad boy," "queen," or "king." These terms can enhance your connection to your gender and add an exciting element to your sex at the same time!

Alternatively, you might prefer to forgo gendered terms altogether, opting for more neutral phrases and words like "you're so amazing" or "I love when you do that." “oh yeah baby”. It might take some trial and error (and maybe some erotica!) to help you along the way, but the key is to use the language that feels affirming and exciting for you.


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