The Stag Shop Blog

Sex Toys & Partners

Whether you’re a sex toy newbie or a toy aficionado, here are some helpful tips when it comes to toys & partners.
Emily Zawadzki
November 20, 2020

Pssst...want this information in a watchable, video-format instead!? Check out our YouTube video down below!

 

The Sex Toy Talk

Adding toys into your sex life can be overwhelming for some folks, especially when you want a partner to be involved! Whether it’s a new partner or an existing relationship, bringing up the topic of toys may be embarrassing or difficult - but it doesn’t have to be!

If you're both new to toys...

When starting out and unsure of what to get first, look for a toy that is more universal in its use so that you can experiment together! A wand vibrator, for example, is great to start out with because it can deliver deep vibrations & provide pleasurable stimulation anywhere on the body; clitoris, testicles, perineum, head of the penis, nipples, etc.

It can also be helpful to do some more research - whether alone or together - as to which kinds of sex toys you think you’d want to try; a clitoral vibe, butt plug, cock ring, strap-on, etc! Use media (like our blog and Instagram) to bring up toys you are curious about and see how your partner reacts/communicates. This can make it less personal when it’s about the toys in general and not specifically about you and your preferences...just yet.

You can also try out any of these conversations in text or over the phone at first if it feels too awkward to do so in-person!

If ONE of you has some toy experience...

Fun Factory Stronic G Pulsator Grape

If you have experience with sex toys and you’re bringing it up to a partner who doesn’t have any, you could start by showing them some of the toys you own, including your favourite go-to!

Explain why you like it, how you use it (perhaps even showing them), or have them use it on you to get comfortable with it. Knowing that it brings you so much pleasure will likely be a turn on for them and having them use it on you allows them to be a part of that!

Just remember that:

  • Sex toys are simply meant to enhance your pleasure, not replace another human!

  • Wanting to add toys into your partnered sex doesn’t mean that what you were doing before wasn’t pleasurable, or that the sex wasn’t good without the toys.

  • BDSM toys are different and require a lot more homework & communication between you.

  • Sex toys are really just pleasure tools, designed to help you both feel and give each other more pleasure; who doesn’t want more of that!?

New Relationships

We-Vibe Chorus Adjustable Dual Couples Vibrator Blue

When getting involved with a new partner, many folks wonder if they should throw out or replace any toys from past relationships - whether it was bought and/or used together.

The only right answer is...it’s totally up to you! Some feel very strongly about this either way, and there are pros and cons to both keeping your toys and replacing them when you have a new romantic or sexual partner.

For example:

  • Some cannot afford to replace high-quality toys with each new partner
  • Some have a favourite toy they refuse to part with regardless of who they’ve used it with
  • There may be difficult memories or associations with the toy(s) used together
  • Your ex took the toy(s) you played with together
  • It was an insertable toy containing bodily fluids, like a dildo or anal toy

You should do what feels best for you and your relationship(s)!

Choosing Toys Together

Sportsheets Saffron Strap-On Black/Red

Make the process less scary and more fun by shopping together! Whether online or in-person, by doing it together you know you’ll be on the same page, rather than having someone be surprised later on and potentially killing the mood.

Talk about what you like/don’t like about the toy, how it feels, how you think you would use it, and look at the sizing & materials used. Especially for toys that can be used and played with together - such as strap-ons or vibrating cock rings - choosing them together can ensure that you’re both going to enjoy the toy when the time comes.

Use Them Together!

Fleshlight Brand

Lastly, some folks can be hesitant about trying sex toys with a partner because they think that toys are only for single people or solo play. While some toys were designed better for masturbation, that doesn’t mean that helping hands aren’t welcome!

These types of toys are great for solo use too, but instantly become a partnered toy when you have them use it on you or vice versa:

 

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