*We recognize that not all folks who engage in pegging identify as male
Unfortunately, some people with penises (especially cisgendered & straight dudes) are still reluctant to try any sort of anal play - often due to homophobic conditioning. Every BODY has a butt though, and playing with it doesn’t determine your gender or sexual orientation! So, if pegging is something you’d like to bring up with your male* partner, these pegging points may help to break the ice.
Pssst...want this information in a watchable, video-format instead!? Check out our YouTube video down below!
1. Emphasize the pleasure for them/him
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Maybe he doesn’t even know the pleasure potential to be had with anal play in general. Emphasize to them that while it may be a different feeling, ultimately it’s supposed to feel good! Especially if you wanted to explore prostate stimulation - whether manually or through the use of a toy - it can bring about a whole new type of orgasm for them!
Even if you didn’t want to add in prostate play specifically, the anal opening itself contains many nerve endings too.
2. It’s a unique experience
You can explain to them that it’s a unique experience to have something be inserted inside of you vs being the one doing the inserting. It can be both a psychological and powerful feeling to experience, especially when you haven’t before.
3. Express what YOU personally get out of it
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Why do you want to try out pegging in the first place!? There could be one or multiple components of the act that have you curious including; the power of topping, dominance, a visual turn-on, a way to provide a different type of pleasure to them, etc.
By expressing to your partner what actually turns you on about it, it may help them to see just how hot it actually can be!
4. It’s an intimate activity between you
Pegging doesn’t *have* to be a kinky or intense activity. It can be tender, you can take it slow, and even still make love to your partner while pegging.
5. Start exploring anal play in other ways first
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It can be helpful to introduce other (maybe less intimidating) types of anal play first; think fingers, a tongue, smaller toys, etc. Arousal is the key to enjoying all types of anal pleasure, so starting small can help them to get used to the sensations in general before you try pegging.
6. Relate on a personal level if YOU have any anal experience
Put yourself in their shoes and remember how you felt and what questions you had if/when you first started exploring anal play. You can tell them - "I know it can be scary and I remember the feelings of reluctance I had, but if we do this together and take it slow, I hope it can feel as good for you as it does for me".
Just remember…
That if it’s a no, then it’s a no and you can’t force them/him(!!!); however there's no harm in asking and opening up the conversation in general. Maybe he's not ready now, but could be in the future after a few more conversations and educational reads like this one!
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