Let’s face it: when it comes to queer sex, the world is still catching up. Thanks to a combination of outdated sex education, media stereotypes, and wayyyyy too much focus on what happens between cishet couples, there are a lot of myths out there about queer intimacy.
So today, we’re busting the top 5 queer sex myths with sass, facts, and plenty of love.🌈
Myth #1: "Queer people don’t have ‘real’ sex"
Real sex? What does that even mean!?
Too often, people equate sex with penis-in-vagina (p-in-v) penetration, but that’s just one tiny piece of the big, juicy pleasure pie. Queer sex is just as real, just as passionate, and often a whole lot more creative.
Sex is about connection, consent, pleasure, and exploration; not just one specific act.
Whether it’s oral, anal, mutual masturbation, toy play, kinky play, or something else entirely, it’s *ALL* real sex. Period.
Myth #2: "There’s always a ‘man’ and a ‘woman’ in the bedroom"
Old-school gender roles have no place in the queer bedroom. There’s no default top or bottom and no required masculine or feminine energy since sexual activities don’t define gender identity and sexual orientation…and vice versa!
Queer relationships come in all shapes, vibes, and dynamics. Roles can shift. Power can be shared. Toys can be used however you want.
Spicy Reminder: Using a strap-on (even a phallic one!) doesn’t automatically equal liking penetration with a real penis. It’s simply another tool to give & receive mind-blowing pleasure. So let’s keep it at that.
Myth #3: "Queer sex is dangerous or risky"
There’s a harmful stereotype that queer sex is inherently unsafe or reckless, especially when it comes to gay men or people who are in non-monogamous relationships and lifestyles.
The truth? Queer folks often lead the charge when it comes to sexual health.
Communities developed harm-reduction practices long before mainstream health care caught up. Queer sex can be just as safe - and even safer - when paired with communication, regular STI testing, and safer sex tools like dental dams, gloves, condoms, and lube.
Myth #4: "Lesbians don’t need sex toys"
Oh, sweetie. Tell that to my toy drawer! 😌
Queer women, femmes, and non-binary folks absolutely can and do use sex toys - as we all do! Toys can enhance intimacy, bring new sensations, and help partners explore their bodies together.
So whether you're a single sapphic or someone in a relationship, use that sex toy, babe!
Myth #5: "You have to fit into a label to have queer sex"
Listen, labels can be tricky. They are deeply personal, but you don’t need to come out, claim a label, or know all the acronyms to enjoy queer intimacy.
Maybe you’re bi-curious. Maybe you’re questioning. Maybe your gender or sexuality is fluid. Maybe you just don’t know. That’s okay - that’s simply your journey, and you can (and should!) be having all of the queer sex regardless of where you’re at.
Labels are great if they help you, but they aren’t *required* to experience pleasure.
At the end of the day, sex is what you make it and queer sex just happens to be extra creative, inclusive, and open to possibility.
So ditch the myths, grab the lube, and explore what pleasure looks like for you. And if you’re looking to spice things up, check out our full lineup of LGBTQ+ inclusive toys, lubes, and accessories right here at Stag Shop. 💖
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