What is Fluid Bonding?
Simply put, fluid bonding is where you consensually decide to share bodily fluids with another person during sex including saliva, semen, vaginal fluids, anal fluid, prostatic fluid, and more.
Folks may choose to be fluid bonded completely to another person or perhaps just for specific sexual activities. For example, you could choose to be fluid-bonded for oral play on a vulva but not for oral play on an anus.
While it may seem like something you decide together on a whim or in the heat of the moment, there actually is nothing spontaneous about it! It should be a completely pre-planned and consented to decision made by all parties involved before you start getting hot & heavy.
Why or Why Not Fluid Bond?
There are several reasons as to why someone may (or may not) want to be fluid bonded with someone else.
Why?
- If you’re trying to get pregnant (or you decide together that the risk of pregnancy is one you both accept), those fluids do need to mix and mingle!
- To enhance communication and intimacy between you - for many, the decision comes with a lot of vulnerability to be able to open up and share things like past partners, STI status, getting tested, risks & boundaries, etc.
- Some folks may find greater pleasure (whether it's physical or psychological) without having to use a barrier.
Why not?
- If someone has an STI or an outbreak, you could choose to not fluid bond to reduce the risk of transmission.
- To avoid pregnancy.
So…have you decided whether to fluid bond or not?
If you choose yes…
There are still some things to consider and reflect upon before foregoing any barriers.
Talk with your partner(s)
As mentioned earlier, making the decision to be fluid bonded is one that comes with some vulnerable conversations. When discussing, here are some helpful things to ask:
- Why do you want to be fluid bonded?
- Do you have any concerns about it?
- Will you be fluid bonded for all sexual activities?
- Will there still be any risks for STI transmission or pregnancy? How will we plan for this?
STI’s & testing
You may have already talked about getting tested and your STI status (bonus points for you glen coco!), however, if you’re considering fluid bonding, it’s time to do it all over again!
Whether you choose to go get tested together or alone, it’s important to talk openly through your results together. STI’s are super common within Canada and no one should ever be made to feel shameful or “gross” for having one! It might feel awkward or overwhelming to discuss, however it’s an important piece of information that should be included in the fluid bonding decision.
Pssst…If one or both of you have a chronic STI (like herpes or HIV), you could talk to your medical provider about ways to manage it, such as medicine.
Pregnancy?
If there is a chance for pregnancy to occur and that is not something you want, you can discuss other possible methods of contraception to use.
If you choose no…
Firstly, that’s a hard decision to make - so good for you, babe!
To help make things a little easier, here are some ways that can help you to bypass the mingling of any bodily fluids if you don’t want them to.
Types of sexual activities
Certain sexual activities can either involve different types of bodily fluids (for example penis ejaculate vs vaginal fluids) or can avoid them altogether (such as mutually masturbating where hands are generally kept to yourself).
Use barriers
Barriers are one of the best ways to reduce the risk of bodily fluids being passed between you. External & internal condoms, dental dams, finger cots, and gloves are some examples of barriers that can be used for all sorts of different sex!
Not sharing sex toys
If your sex involves toys, be sure that you are NOT sharing them between you (even external ones like a wand which could still have body fluids on it)!
Pro Tip: If there’s an internal vibe or dildo that you both think you would enjoy, you can use a condom over the toy for each of you!
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