The Stag Shop Blog

BDSM Myths

Unfortunately there are still many myths surrounding the world of BDSM that may be getting in the way of you reaching your full play potential!
Emily Zawadzki
October 4, 2022

Pssst...want this information in a watchable, video-format instead!? Check out our YouTube video down below!


Adam & Eve Eve's Fetish Dreams Intermediate Bondage Set

BDSM” is like an umbrella term to encompass all sorts of kinky play that one would generally consider to be outside of the norm of “mainstream” (aka vanilla) sex. The acronym itself stands for “Bondage & Discipline”, “Dominant & Submissive”, and “Sadism & Masochism”; which are some of the more popular activities within the BDSM realm.

Unfortunately there are still many myths surrounding the world of BDSM that may be getting in the way of you reaching your full play potential, so it’s time to do some myth-busting!

Myth #1. “It’s always about pain”

Shots Toys Pain Metal Oval Spike Leather Crop

Pain is simply one sensation to be enjoyed about BDSM play…but it isn’t for everyone! Some folks choose to incorporate pain into their play but you don’t have to since many types of activities allow for all types of sensations!

Myth #2. “Kinky people don't enjoy vanilla sex”

lisa kudrow well this is boring gif

First things first…there are LOTS of kinky people out there (probably more than you think!) so it’s difficult to make such generalized statements about a larger, more diverse community.

That being said, although some may prefer their kinky sex to the vanilla, we’ve found that for most kinky folks, it’s simply another aspect of their sexual selves that can be enjoyed in addition to the more basic stuff.

Myth #3. “Black leather is the only dress code”

Coquette D9324 Black Jumpsuit

While it’s true that black leather looks are incredibly popular within the community, it’s not a must! Folks like to dress up in all sorts of ways and outfit choices will likely depend on the person, their scene, and their specific kinks.

Myth #4. “Identifying as a dominant or submissive says something about your mental health”

This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions about BDSM and unfortunately perpetuates stigma towards both mental health and the BDSM community. People of all sorts of backgrounds and different levels of experience with mental health enjoy BDSM for a variety of different reasons.

Dominants can be (and often are!) sweet and nurturing to their submissives, and alternatively submissives aren’t always shy people with low self-esteem. These are harmful stereotypes that unfortunately mainstream culture (hello 50 shades) hasn’t really helped with all too much over the years.

Myth #5: “BDSM is dangerous”

Ouch by Shots Toys Cane With Stainless Steel Handle

Here’s the thing…it absolutely can be, which is why we so strongly emphasize the importance of doing homework (such as reading about or attending events in-person) before playing and following the associated safety measures each time you play.

Many of the activities associated with BDSM can be physically and/or emotionally harmful if done improperly or unsafely.

Pro Tip: It’s even better if you can get out to your local kink scene and learn from people who are already doing the thing(s) you’re curious about!

 

Comments