FAQ's #3: BDSM

We get a lot of questions here at Stag Shop, and some seem to come up more often than others. So we thought we’d create the “Friday FAQ’s” series to roundup and help answer some of YOUR most frequently asked questions as customers!

This time, we’re answering your questions all about BDSM play.

Pssst...want this information in a watchable, video-format instead!? Check out our YouTube video down below!

1. What does BDSM stand for/mean?

“BDSM” is like an umbrella term to encompass all sorts of kinky play that one would generally consider to be outside of the “norm” of “mainstream” or vanilla sex. The acronym itself stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominant & Submissive, and Sadism & Masochism; which are some of the more popular activities within the BDSM community.

However, it’s important to keep in mind that one could consider “kinky” or “vanilla” is relative and could mean something different to different people. For example, you may think handcuffs are kinky while a more advanced player may not and would rather play with electrostimulation.

2. Does it always have to hurt? 

Not at all! For many players, a common theme throughout play is pain, but that is simply one aspect to be enjoyed about BDSM. For others, it could be about the power dynamic (giving it up or having it), heightened sensations, and/or elements of fantasy!

3. Should I get a bondage kit?

Sex & Mischief Sweet Punishment Kit

A bondage kit can be a good way for folks to try out different play items and it can provide a cheaper way to get all of the tools you want at once.

However, for more advanced BDSM players who know what they like, it may be more beneficial to take the time and choose your play items individually.

4. If I enjoy BDSM, does that mean I have a fetish? 

Maybe, but not necessarily! While fetishes fall under the BDSM category, something only becomes a fetish when it is required for someone’s sexual gratification. This could mean they need it to feel aroused, for pleasure, or even to reach orgasm.

5. Do I actually need to do any research before I begin playing?

Absolutely you do! You may have noticed that in many BDSM products as well as throughout our various educational platforms, we talk a lot about safety and doing your research. Since many BDSM activities and play tools are designed to cause pain or discomfort, not using them properly can potentially cause damage and/or bodily harm.

What you actually need to research will depend on what type of toy/activity you are interested in. For example, impact toys will have different safety precautions than rope and sounding toys.

If you’re looking for somewhere to begin your learning, be sure to check out the rest of our blog! We offer research, safety, and of course pleasure tips for various BDSM activities so that you can play safely.