Happy Thanksgiving! And to celebrate the season of getting stuffed, we’re taking it to the next level; with fisting! Keep reading to learn all about what fisting actually is, the myths & taboos surrounding it, and how to do it safely & most pleasurably!

What is Fisting?

Fisting is the act of inserting a whole hand into the vagina or anus for sexual pleasure. Yes, it’s anatomically possible, and can be extremely pleasurable when done right! More commonly practiced with the vagina, anuses can be fisted too - they just require some extra attention and care! Gaining its popularity within the queer community, lesbians and gay men have been engaging in fisting for a while now...so why isn’t the rest of the population?

Taboos & Myths

Unfortunately, when people think of “fisting”, a negative reaction automatically comes to mind. Why? Society teaches us that vaginas can become too loose if too many and/or bigger things are used to penetrate it. But that’s just not true! Vaginas are like an elastic - they have the capability to stretch to accommodate toys, another human, penises, and even whole fists, yet can contract back to original state or even tighter to snugly fit around a tampon, kegel egg, etc. When nothing is inside a vagina, it actually stays in a collapsed and closed state. Vaginas are a muscle that if worked properly and consistently, can become more toned and therefore tighter - but that’s about kegels, NOT about what you put inside. Since a “tight” vagina is seen as being better than a “loose” vagina in our society, and fisting is associated with stretching & loosening; fisting is therefore seen as taboo.

Secondly, not everyone CAN nor does everyone WANT the whole fist inside of them! As you’re about to learn, fisting is more about the positioning and actions of your fingers, and less about making an actual fist and shoving it into someone’s orifice.

All About Pleasure

So what makes fisting so pleasurable? Well we’re glad you asked! On a physical level, fisting gives the receiver a feeling of fullness that differs from using bigger toys or penises; many also enjoy the feeling of being stretched open. With fisting, more tissue is being stimulated at the same time, making it more sensational and intense.

Apart from the physical, inserting a part of yourself into someone else is an incredibly intimate act. Especially for those without penises, pleasuring a partner with an actual part of your body is erotic. It also turns some people on to visually see their whole hand inside a partner, and to feel the heat and strength of their body from the inside. Since fisting is an act that requires you to go slow and communicate, it gives partners a chance to really connect.

So You Want To Try Fisting?

• Talk to your partner first - Fisting is NOT the kind of thing you can just spring on someone in the heat of the moment.
  
  
• Do your homework and get all the necessary supplies:
  • Lube - And lots of it!!! Lubricants of a thicker viscosity or silicone-based lubes will work best as they tend to last longer on the body and create more of a barrier between skin. Lubricants with numbing agents are NOT recommended as the receiver should be fully aware of what their body is experiencing and can make the necessary adjustments or stop altogether.
    
    
  • Nail Clippers & Nail File - Before inserting fingers into someone, cut those nails! File them down as well so that they are not sharp or jagged. Smooth and trimmed fingernails help avoid micro-tearing in the vagina or anus.
    
    
  • Gloves - Even with cleaned and trimmed fingernails, using a glove for fisting is still a better option. It provides an extra layer of safety just in case any lingering bacteria is present on the hands as well as acts as an extra barrier against micro-tearing. Gloves also smooth the edges of your hands, fingers, and fingernails - making it smoother AND slipperier for fisting.
    
    
  • Towel - With the amount of lubricant you’re going to be using, a towel might be a good idea. This can get messy!
    
    
• Safety First - One of the most important things to be aware of with fisting is the potential for micro-tearing on the inside of the vagina/anus. Things like sharp or jagged fingernails, lack of lubricant, etc. can all cause micro-tearing. Micro-tears make it easier for bacteria and other infections to get into the body.
  
  
• Go SLOW - every step of the way
  • You probably won’t be able to get all the way to full fist insertion the first time and that’s okay! Most people require more time to be able to relax their muscles enough, including multiple sessions of warm-up and advanced fingering play.
  • You are literally coaxing a part of the body to open up to you and stretch to accommodate you inside. So don’t rush it! Fisting is a back-and-forth slow dance that requires attention, care, and communication.
    
    
• Communicate - every step of the way
  • Check in with your partner consistently to ensure everything is alright and still pleasurable. Some pain is to be expected, but if you are experiencing too much pain, stop and try again later.
  • Some people may want to engage in other sexual acts while fisting such as using toys, clitoral stimulation, or some bondage & restraint play. Communicate with your partner if that is something you would like to try. Some people find that using a vibrator on their clitoris enhances the feeling of being fisted.

Step-By-Step

1. Body Prep For Both of You

• Giver - Cut & file nails, wash hands, remove jewelry, etc.
• Receiver - empty bladder, relax.

2. Warm-Up & Arousal

• Just like with any sexual activity, arousal is key. Turn your partner on and warm them up just like you were going about any other sexy time!
• The more turned on they are, the easier it will be for them to relax and ultimately enjoy their fisting experience.

3. LUBRICANT - Lube, lube, and MORE LUBE - even when you think it’s enough, it’s not. Put it outside, push it inside, and lather it all over your fingers and fist. Get WET and have a towel ready for the mess!

4. FINGERS - Start with fingers and work your way up

• Starting with 1-2 fingers, gently massage the inside to relax the muscles and stimulate the sensitive nerve endings.
• Checking in as you go, slowly add more fingers (and more lube as needed/wanted) still massaging the tissue.

5. INSERTION - When you’ve reached 4-5 fingers and your partner is ready, you can insert your hand. Tuck the thumb inside the fist, so that the position your hand is in looks like a duck’s bill.

• The knuckles are going to be the hardest thing to insert, so go slowly and apply light pressure. You can twist your fist from side to side (like screwing in a lightbulb) if you are having difficulty, which could also cause your partner pain OR pleasure.

6. FIST - Once the knuckles are inside, you can then position your fingers into a fist, with your thumb on the outside.

7. EXPLORE - At this point, explore! As you are fully inside, you can explore and communicate what is feeling good and what to try. Start with light pumping motions and take it from there! Using your fist and fingers; rotate, experiment with varying levels of pressure, and keep on communicating!

• You can also experiment with your knuckles. After they are inside, use them for extra sensations! Try rocking them back and forth and experimenting with different pressures. You can also play at the edge of the vagina or anus, bringing the knuckles in and out.

8. REMOVAL - When ready to remove your fist, put it back into “duck-bill” position and slide out slowly. You may need to use your other hand to break the suction or help you pull your other hand out.

Toys & Accessories

Did you know there are toys and accessories created JUST for fisting!?

Toys That Do it For You

Toys like The Fisto are dildo-like probes that are already in the perfect hand positioning for fisting. 

Attire & Accessories

Other brands feature fisting attire and accessories that were meant to aid your fisting experience! Fisting shorts are wearable boxer-like shorts with a hole in either the crotch or butt for easier access to the anus/vagina. Some are made of latex, bridging the gap between fisting and other kinks. Fisting gloves are also available, which were created to be ideal for fisting adventures. They tend to also be made of latex, fit snugly, and are strong but thin - allowing both giver and receiver to feel more while still being safe.