May the Fourth be with you! Ever wanted to try something a little kinkier? Not sure where to begin? Let Stag Shop take you through some of the ways you can play to ease yourself over to “The Dark Side."

BDSM: An Intro

BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominant & Submissive/Sadism & Masochism) is the acronym used interchangeably with “kink” as an umbrella term to refer to all of the different ways to play that are not typically considered "mainstream" sexual activities. Whereas “BDSM” represents some of the more common & specific themes used when playing, “kink” can be a more relative term, meaning that what you consider to be kinky, could be considered not by others.

As with many BDSM activities, there are some important safety things to consider with each of the following types of play. Firstly, always have a safeword consented to beforehand that allows all players to recognize when the play needs to STOP (and try to use a word that wouldn’t come up in the play!). Secondly, for any restraints, be sure to keep a pair of safety scissors closeby just in case you need a quick release.

Ways To Play

Although there are TONS of different ways to dip into BDSM play, here are 5 popular activities (with the tools to match!) to ease you over to The Dark Side.

Restraint Play

Ego Driven Mini Fancy Cuffs

Restraint play involves binding or tying someone up so that they cannot move, sometimes in a certain pose/way. Using restraints or some light bondage can allow you to feel comfortable with being restrained before going all out with some rope (which also requires more instruction and safety considerations).

Try starting with something less intimidating like a pair of cuffs (door jam ones actually keep the restrained person standing up!), sash restraints (which can often feel more comfortable on the skin), or even just some classic furry handcuffs.

Shop Stag Shop’s Selection of Restraint Toys here!

Sensory Play

Sex & Mischief Satin Blindfold Black

The senses are a fun thing to play with as when we lose one, it makes the rest of them stronger - which is why sensory deprivation play can be so arousingl

A fun way to play for beginners is to block out eyesight as all you have to do is put on a blindfold! Not being able to see what a partner is doing, what’s coming next, etc. can all add to the heightened experience. Shop Stag Shop’s Selection of masks & blindfolds here!

Alternatively, floggers and ticklers can heighten the senses (especially when still blindfolded) by providing a lighter, more “ticklish” feeling on the skin.

Role-Play

Coquette 2629X Nurse Chemise

Role-play is a super creative way to play that can often help those to live out desired fantasies, try new things, and become more connected to a partner. It can also help to get you comfortable with different forms of power exchange if D/s play (see below) is something you wanted to try later on.

For other types of role play, figure out your fantasy, and what about it is actually turning you on! (For example, two people could have a fantasy about a teacher, however one could be turned on by the power dynamics of the situation whereas the other really wants to be spanked with a ruler.) Then you can begin to think about where to take it to next. Sometimes just talking about it and saying things out loud are enough to not even proceed with carrying out the fantasy at all!

Add props and/or costumes if you want to, or don’t! Just remember, role playing is about being open and exploring each other's fantasies! Let go of your expectations and complicated scripts, and just have fun!

Shop all costumes & accessories here!

Impact Play

Sportsheets Saffron Square Paddle

More commonly known by their specific types, impact play involves striking a playmate, often repeatedly, and can be done with a hand (like spanking), or with a toy. The term “play” means that although there is pain, it is a consensual and safe act that players take pleasure from.

There are SO many different types of impact toys that are all vastly different; from how they feel, to what they’re used for, and even how to use them. Regardless of which impact toy you’re looking at, they all come in a variety of materials.

Look for impact toys that are made of leather - real and/or faux - or vinyl. These materials allow the user to wield the toy as soft or as hard as they would like, compared to other materials (such as metal or wood) which will make for more intense and painful impacts.

Shop Stag Shop’s Selection of Impact Toys here!

Dominant & Submissive (D/s) Play

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If you’d like to play around with different power dynamics/exchanges, D/s play can be a good way to start. The most important thing to remember with this type of play is that everything is consensually agreed upon before any play actually takes place - whether it’s sexual in nature or not.

There are many creative ways you can play, and you can add to the experience by incorporating things like collars & leashes, or mouth gags. Since this type of play really can consist of any type of power exchange, you can easily tailor your experience with any of the other types of play mentioned here like restraint, impact, etc.

So whatever you’d like to start playing with first...Welcome to the Dark Side!