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Some of these reasons could include:
- Trans folks where penetration play triggers gender dysphoria and/or distress
- Those with conditions that cause painful penetration (sometimes referred to as dyspareunia) such as vulvodynia, vaginismus, endometriosis, etc.
- Physical restrictions & capabilities
- A personal preference of simply not enjoying the sensation
This is why it is incredibly important for us as a society to redefine - and more importantly - expand our definition of what “sex” is and can be. Basically, if you’ve only thought of sex as “penis-in-vagina penetration play”; it’s time to start thinking outside of the box (literally).😉
1. Use toys, especially vibrators
Le Wand Rechargeable Vibrating Massager Grey
While sex toys like external vibrators and penis strokers are great for solo use, they can be used for partnered play too - just by using one on someone else!
The sensation of vibration especially can be very powerful and stimulating for many, regardless of where on the body it’s used. An external vibrator means that it can be used anywhere outside of the body! Experiment on the clitoris, tip & underside of the penis, nipples, butthole, perineum, and any other of your erogenous zones!
2. Nipple & chest play
XR Brands Master Series Crowned Magnetic Nipple Clamps
A popular erogenous zone for many, some folks can actually reach orgasm through nipple stimulation alone! The nipples can be stimulated in a variety of ways including your mouth & tongue, hands, and toys like clamps & suckers. If they’re into it, don’t forget about squeezing & pleasing the rest of the chest/breasts too!
3. Mutual masturbation
In case you’re not quite sure what we’re talking about here – mutual masturbation is a sexual activity in which two or more people masturbate together and often in front of each other. It’s a personal choice of whether you want to remain clothed or get naked with each other and it doesn’t have to be done the same way each time.
Although some also like to add in some kissing or making out, generally your hands are kept to yourself and your own body. Some benefits include less risk of pregnancy and STI transmission, a hot visual experience, and having control over your own pleasure. Check out some of these products to enhance any mutual masturbation session!
4. Oral sex
Stag Shop Salted Caramel Lubricant Packet
Still an extremely intimate act between people, oral sex can be performed in a variety of positions and settings to keep it fun and interesting! The 69 position and its variations are a fun way to simultaneously perform oral sex on each other for an even closer experience.
5. Anal play
b-Vibe Anal Training & Education Set
Before you write it off as “not for you”, just remember that anal play doesn’t have to involve penetration either! It can include lightly touching & pressing the butthole, rimming (oral sex on the anus), using different toys and more.
6. Pressure
Le Wand Arch Stainless Steel Dildo
Whether manually or with toys made of heavier materials (like stainless steel & glass), pressure can be an arousing sensation either on the genitals or other erogenous zones. Try experimenting with varying levels of pressure on parts of the body such as the entire vulva (cup it with your whole hand), perineum, testicles, nipples, etc.
7. Grindin’ & humpin’
Cal Exotics Lust Remote Control Dual Lay-on Rider
Kick it old school and try some good ol’ grindin’! Choose whether you want to go with or without a toy and then position yourselves for some rigorous movement (squeaky beds are not recommended)!
If going toy-free, the trick is to find a spot or body part on your partner that can stimulate your hot spots as you rub against them. Your genitals may be touching, or they may not be, but if it feels good for one or both of you - grind on!
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